Fuck.

I can feel the madness coming on. I imagine this is what a mental breakdown feels like. Only to a smaller degree. This happens to me a lot. But those times are always fixed. But the person that fixed them is gone. I'm so scared to be left alone. Which I am right now. It's driving me nuts. When I'm with people, at least it gives me something to think about, but when I'm alone it fills my ming like fog. Thick and hazy. I can't do this. The only thing that's keeping me from ending it is the thought that this is the last time I'll feel like this. Because the person who causes me to be like this is also the same person who used to fix it. It was always because of him. But I'm scared. Because he's no longer around to fix it. What if it never ends?

One things for sure, it's going to take me a long time to trust again.