What?

I'm craving cornflakes like mad.
What kind of a food to crave is conflakes!?
o_O
I'm glad we have none.
Oh my God. I could eat a whole pack right now.
Omnomnomnom.

Sunday.

It's the beginning of Sunday. (: Seven ten.
I've been up all night.
I failed my fast. Pretty much knew I would though.
But Today's a new day. :D I hope it goes better.
I will have to eat today, going to a market with Dad, but I'm planning on just getting a subway wrap with just salad.
It's easier to handle being hungry when I picture those hip piercings. <3
Argh, I put a ten mm tunnel in my ear this morning and changed my other ear from eight up to ten. My puppy also decided to attack my ears a lot this morning. Good timing delilah. My ears are still stinging. D: Ouuuccchh.

ALSO. Green tea. If you drink three cups a day you burn about a hundred calories a day. It speeds your metabolism up and is REALLY good for you. It may not taste amazing, but you get used to it, and honey makes it better. It's worth it. ^^

Friday.

It's five here and so far I haven't eaten. (:
Woot.
And I think I'm going to manage today.
Apparently the first days the worst. Hope so. ^-^
I happy.
Going over to a friend's later though. But I think I got my excuses sorted.
(:

Fast.

Kay. Woah.
It's six am here and the sky looks AHMAZING. Like WOW. It's bright pink and orange around where the sun is, clear blue up top, then a really pretty light purple on the other side of the sky. I need to be awake to watch the sun rise more often. <3

Any way. Day one of my fast which I've decided to do.
Woot.
Wish me luck. ^^

Stupid amazingly brilliant sky distracting me.
Woah.

I honestly can't think of anything else right now.
Blog again later.
(:

Self harm and being fat.

I promised my boyfriend I'd stop cutting.
I didn't know how hard it'd be.
I have already broken that promise once.
The urge never disappears. D:

I am fucking huge. Sometimes I think I should just give up on trying to be skinny. Those are generally the times I binge. Thing is, it happens every day. So I just stay fat. I wanted to be down to fifty by the seventh of February, but obviously that's not going to happen.
I'm living with my parents for the next month or so still. So there's still going to be all this food! I have the will power of, something with nil will power!
I always wish I could purge. Just until I move out. Once that happens, the temptation will be gone. I won't have food. I won't have the money for food.
I'm so jealous of all you skinny people!!!
D:

Binge.

Good old chocolate chips.
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PURGE.
D:

Wednesday

650 Calories today. D:
Absolutley terrible.
Only good thing I did was drink plenty of water.
Days like today make me wish I could purge.
I don't care that everyone tells me I shouldn't. That it's not good. But everything I've tried has failed. D:
I get to move out soon though, hopefully in a few weeks. So I'm going to do a water fast for the first fourteen days. Then cut down my calorie intake.
Hip piercings here I come!

Woot. I'ma get these when I get to 50 kgs. Then a tattoo at 45. :D

First Post!

I weigh about 63 kgs.
I aim to weigh 45 as quickly as I can.
I hate being this fat.
A recent binge on chocolate chips has made me realise how incredibly bad I've become. D:
For a while I consumed 140 calories and walked three hours every day.
I felt amazing.
But now I just seem to binge every day non stop.
I'm going to use this blog to try write every day what I eat. And ask for any tips.
And put my inspiration.
And any thing else I feel like at the time.
TIPS VERY WELCOME. :D